Project 365

I got my first free t-shirt today at the office. I liked it 🙂 I especially loved the cup. It’s really cool!!!

Although I’ve only been working for a week, I really enjoy working here. I’m still in a training phase, but I love what I have learnt so far. The web applications that they develop are one of the best in the market! (or even the best!) I’m not trying to be bias. It’s the fact. LOL.

I also get along with my colleagues really well, especially the team that I am in and the people whom I often have lunch with. The environment around the office is very casual. Very multicultural. Everything is transparent. I feel like I am in my comfort zone. That’s a great thing.

I hope I will feel the same way once I finish my training and do my “real job” 🙂

I’m proud to announce my new WordPress Plugin, which I named it "WP Visited Countries". I started to develop this plugin in the middle of last year, but somehow it never finished. I tried to complete it before I started my Middle East trip, but again, it was delayed. The plugin was working fine but I was not satisfied with the codes. I wanted to find a more neat way to do it. I never developed any plugins before, so it took time for me to learn how to do it the right way.

Since I have nothing to do these days, I decided to resume the project again. After less than a week of changing the codes, looking at old codes, and reading a lot of tips on the Internet, I managed to finish it! Yay!

So, there it is, my new plugin. When it was first released early in the morning, there were no bugs — as far as I knew. But then I discovered that the plugin couldn’t work in multisite feature of WordPress (i.e. having multiple blogs under one WordPress installation). So I had to add some minor changes… I haven’t tested it thoroughly this time. I hope it came out right! Any feedback? 😉

It does not matter how busy I am. How many things I do in a day. How many different places I visit. Or how many people I meet and talk to in a day. There is always one thing that is missing. One thing that saddens me. One thing that makes me suddenly cry when there is no one looking.

I’ve been saying to myself, everything is going to be okay. I can get away from this loneliness. Let’s get myself busy with different things. Let’s put a different focus this time. Let’s just not think about it for a moment.

But you know what? Those things are temporary. I haven’t solved the root of the problem yet. I’ve been ignoring what the inner part of me is complaining about. I’ve been treating it as if its opinion is not counted, or to make it even worst… I’ve been treating it as if it does not even exist. I was (and am) being ignorant and for a split second I thought the trick was going to work. Apparently, I was wrong. Very wrong, indeed.

But what can I do about it? There is nothing I can do at this moment. I cannot solve it in a short time. Even if I meet new people here and there, that doesn’t mean I would be connected with them easily. I can talk to them, definitely. But to be connected and to feel that I am comfortable talking about anything to that person, takes not a day or two. For now, while I am waiting to meet friends that I am comfortable with, I am gonna be in the same state… miserable, sad, and lonely.

Does it sound like I am complaining? Maybe I do. I am extremely grateful to be here, rather than in Jakarta. But my heart is saying different things. I haven’t fulfilled its basic needs yet. Sometimes I don’t even realize that tears are pouring down from my eyes. The next thing I know, my eyes and cheeks are already wet. This is beyond my control and I can just hope that this stage of my life will be over soon insya Allah. I am hopeful and I know that He is listening.

I really miss my friends in the Netherlands 🙁

My Middle East trip had ended months ago and I still hadn’t had an inspiration to write about it — until two days ago.

This blog post is different than any other posts that I wrote. It is using first person, present tense. I’m not sure why I experimented in using this technique but I can say that it was really hard to do it. I’m not sure it’s good enough though!

Check it out: ME Trip: Arriving in Tehran

is to wake up everyday, not knowing what to do, not expecting anything, and thinking that tomorrow will be the same.

The hardest thing among all is not knowing who to ask for a shoulder to cry on… or just to share about anything.

Ya Allah… You are the only One I count on. Help me with this. Keep me in the remembrance of You so I can go pass this stage soon.

I’ve been sitting in the living room since the first day I came here and never realized that I could see the sun disappeared from the sky every single day. It was only today that I actually noticed it, when suddenly I looked out the window and saw the whole sky reddish/orange. It was beautiful.

Suddenly, I forgot that the traffic was jammed. I forgot that the noise coming from those busy roads and highways annoyed me so much. My eyes and my mind focused only on one thing. The beautiful sunset.

I know, I really have to stop complaining and start to notice the small things that don’t seem to matter, but they surprisingly put a smile in my face :). Thank you, Allah… for always reminding me. You are the One.

My parents raised me to be independent from the very early age. Back in those days when we’re still financially unstable, my sister and I had stay at home — just the two of us — while our parents worked hard to earn extra money during Hajj.  Being the eldest child, I was already trusted to take care of my sister and myself. I was still in the elementary school at that time, but we managed to live like this for a month every single year.

I then became totally independent when I came to Indonesia to study. For the next 10 years after that, I had been living independently without my family. I was too comfortable to be apart from my family that it felt weird to stay under one roof with them for more than a month. I had to re-adapt.

I love living my life without having to worry about others 24 hours a day. I don’t need to take care of anyone or be worried about anyone. The only one that needs to be taken care of is only me. It doesn’t mean that I prefer to live alone. I hate living alone. But there’s a big difference between living with your friends and living with your family. Yes, there’s a big difference.

This is something that I still need to get used to. Living with my sister is such a big challenge for me. She is the most needy person I’ve ever encountered. She doesn’t like to be alone at all. Even if it means going to the market next door, she wants to be accompanied. I don’t want to make it a big deal, because that’s what I come here for. I’m just not used to it and that’s a real challenge for me.

But then I thought to myself. Imagine if I have a child. Like any children in the world, this child constantly needs the care, support, and attention every single day. If I can’t even stand having my sister by my side, what would happen next if I have a child?!? Would I be able to stand with my baby?

I really need to sort out this issue!

Alhamdulillah, I’m now in Kuala Lumpur, arrived here two days ago to be precise. I’ve been moving around from one place to another for the past 3 months and I kinda need some time to take a rest — to finally settle and “breathe” normally. Hopefully I’ll find the environment that I need here in KL.

So what’s next for me? Job hunting and getting a visa! I can only stay here for a month so I need a visa that allows me to stay here longer. And of course, a freakin job. Any job will do. I’m desperate. Hahaha. I wanted to work at NGO and be sent to the remotest place ever in Indonesia. But it’s not possible now as I need to be in KL. Need to change my plan and strategy! Ah, wish me luck!!! Insya Allah I’ll be fine.

I had a lovely Moroccan farewell dinner with mbak Widi, Cintya, and Farida. We sat at a Moroccan restaurant called Chomicha located in Kruisstraat. The restaurant was quite cozy with a lovely setting. I ordered a 3-course surprise menu. The chef got to choose the meal(s) for me. They were delicious :). The beef tajine was fine. I think Cintya’s kofta tajine was better 😀

I hardly sat in a “real” restaurant here in Eindhoven. I have done it before, only one or two times a year. I decided to do it again since this is my last week in the Netherlands. I just want to treat myself with a really good meal! Alhamdulillah!

 

One day, I was in a clothing shop, queuing, when a woman went straight in front of the cashier. I told her politely, that I was there first. Instead of saying sorry, explaining why she did it, or moved back, she gave me a nasty look and immediately put her stuff on the cashier desk like I didn’t even exist.

I was obviously very angry. What an arrogant selfish woman! She then looked at me from top to bottom, as if she’s saying, "Who are YOU to tell me where to queue?" What the hell! I wanted to say things to her. I wanted to give her a lesson. I HATE to be looked down by her society. But I just couldn’t think of any words to say in her language! I was stuck there, didn’t know what to say. Ah, I need to be ready next time!!

I know, this is the same old frustration that I have about the people in this part of the world. They failed to change ever since I stepped my feet into this land. Indonesian people cannot queue too, especially in the busway terminal. But at least they queue in the shops, restaurants, food courts, or whatever! They’d back off if you told them that you were there first. They’d stop smoking if you told them that you couldn’t stand the smoke. They’d apologize if they did something wrong. They have manners.

But these people are different! It’s so frustrating!