Project 365

Welcome! This is my own 365 project of creating at least one post per day about the stuff that I learnt, achieved, and found, the stuff that made me happy, or the new thing I did every single day.

The project was started on 21 February 2010. It has stopped for few times but I am determined to continue!

This project is dedicated to myself. I want to feel grateful for every single thing I have. I want to be thankful for my own life. I just want to feel that I have enough.

Tag: saudi arabia

Eib

I would like to invite Prof. Brown to conduct an ethnographic study on Middle Eastern cultures which revolve around the word "eib", "عيب". This Arabic word, in its root, means "flaw", and yet the word in its daily usage, refers to shame. You are told, "eib", as in, shame on you, for doing so and so. Usually, the word "eib" is accompanied with a sentence about what people would think. One’s life is centred on what others think, the flaw which you might be presenting, and the shame which emerges from it. The root of many problems in Arab society are not oppression of women, nor is it dictatorship, etc. It is of us oppressing ourselves with this constant shaming process. We are always told to not reveal our flaws, to always care about what people think – of what we do, how we dress, how we behave, etc. We fear stigma, because we engage in stigmatizing each other.

I always love to read the comments on TED talk. This one is the comment for Brene Brown’s talk about shame. This is a very interesting insight about Arab society and I do think that we have such approach too in Asian/Indonesian society.

Blessed Weekend

Red Sea

Sunset

Obhur may not be as beautiful as Indonesian beach, but it is the only place here in Jeddah where we can rent a cottage and enjoy the beach. Most beaches in Jeddah have been used for private residences (thanks to the greedy royal family) and resorts, so they’re not open for public (and "free") — which is a pity. You need to pay in order to enjoy the beach.

Most people don’t mind paying to stay in a resort, of course. After all, this place is one of the very few places in Saudi Arabia where we can escape from all those restrictions, not only social, but also religious restrictions! The religious police will not go in, so we have our own taste of freedom, which is great :).

Apparently, the Filipino embassy rented the WHOLE resort next to ours for Christmas celebration. We planned to stay there previously, but we were turned away as it was already booked. But we could spot from our resort their Christmas tree. This was the second time in my life I saw a Christmas tree in Saudi Arabia. This was not just any Christmas tree. It’s a big one! The biggest one I saw in Saudi Arabia!!! LOL (look how excited I am!). There were even discos, karaoke, and live music. Men and women could mingle freely. I was amazed, but at the same time very pleased :D. I didn’t feel like in Saudi Arabia.

Anyway, about my weekend? It was a super great one! I feel so blessed to have my family — all five of us — in one place. We hadn’t had a family vacation with a full member for a long time. Alhamdulillah!

Here’s a silly picture of me and my siblings:

What were we doing?!

Frustration: Queuing

One day, I was in a clothing shop, queuing, when a woman went straight in front of the cashier. I told her politely, that I was there first. Instead of saying sorry, explaining why she did it, or moved back, she gave me a nasty look and immediately put her stuff on the cashier desk like I didn’t even exist.

I was obviously very angry. What an arrogant selfish woman! She then looked at me from top to bottom, as if she’s saying, "Who are YOU to tell me where to queue?" What the hell! I wanted to say things to her. I wanted to give her a lesson. I HATE to be looked down by her society. But I just couldn’t think of any words to say in her language! I was stuck there, didn’t know what to say. Ah, I need to be ready next time!!

I know, this is the same old frustration that I have about the people in this part of the world. They failed to change ever since I stepped my feet into this land. Indonesian people cannot queue too, especially in the busway terminal. But at least they queue in the shops, restaurants, food courts, or whatever! They’d back off if you told them that you were there first. They’d stop smoking if you told them that you couldn’t stand the smoke. They’d apologize if they did something wrong. They have manners.

But these people are different! It’s so frustrating!

How I Used to Spend My Free Time

My mom used to tell me how she used to play in sawah (rice fields) when she was a little kid and she always told me how during those times there were no such things as dolls or Barbie’s. Whenever I see small children playing with their parents’ phone or iPad, I smile. I see the same thing as what my mom saw. Oh how the world has dramatically changed! People of my generation didn’t have those gadgets or even computers to play with. We didn’t have internet or mobile phones. But still, we were happy. Probably even happier than today :P. This post is just to reminisce about the good old days before the social media- and gadget-era 🙂

How did I spend my free time?

Teddy Bear

My most favorite toy was definitely my teddy bear! He’s the only one I used to sleep with — I actually couldn’t sleep without him! LOL. I used to bring him everywhere I went. My parents told me I lost my teddy bear during 1990 Hajj. I fell ill because of it! (!!!) We still lived in Mekkah at that time and my dad had to go all the way to Jeddah to find a similar version of it. You couldn’t find any dolls in Mekkah at that time. He found a similar one and this was the one I still remember til this very day. I started to abandon my teddy bear as soon as my little brother, Aiman, was born. Not sure why! I think my mom threw away my teddy bear during the time we moved to a different house.

The brown teddy bear was my teddy bear! :)

Barbie’s

Like any girls, I loved playing with Barbie. I didn’t have the original Barbie though. We couldn’t afford the original one, which was quite expensive, because I would buy more than one Barbie dolls. But still, I was happy enough to have those Barbie-looking dolls. My mom used to make some clothes for these dolls. I would play with them for hours! My childhood friend, Anne, would come to play with me (or I would come to her house to play with her original Barbie’s… hehehe).

Some parents refuse to buy Barbie for their children, because they’re afraid that their children will attempt to emulate her. As far as I remember, I didn’t have a slight attempt to imitate her. It never occurred to me that I would ever see her as a role model. I just loved playing with her. That’s all. Perhaps this was because I was not influenced by the image portrayed on TV. The only thing I watched on TV was Tom & Jerry and other animal or hero cartoons (which got nothing to do with beauty or anything like that). I rarely watched Disney princess-like movies (I watched them at my friend’s house. We didn’t have them at ours). I got a feeling that my parents discouraged having these Disney cartoons in our house. Looking back, I think it was one of the best decisions that my parents ever made.

I have to say, Saudi government also did a great job of selecting which cartoons were worth to be watched by children!!! (Note that we didn’t have satellite TV back then. So the only thing we watched was the two Saudi channels)

Camping

I used to build a big tent out of sheets of blankets inside my room (which was also my sister’s room too). I tied them by the door, on the chairs, desk, and on any strong objects I could find. My whole room was covered with these blankets — or tents — and I would pretend as if I was camping in a forest. I would bring my teddy bear, Barbie’s, and other dolls inside these tents. Sometimes my sister (who used to follow whatever I did) joined me. I loved playing the camping game! 😀 After the game, I had to tidy my room up and fold those blankets again, otherwise I would get into trouble 😛

Crystal Maze

The Crystal Maze was a popular British game show aired on Saudi Channel 2. It was one of my favorite TV shows at that time! It was very fun to watch each team playing various games in different settings (or so-called zones). The final challenge of the game was entering the Crystal Dome,  as shown in this picture:

The teams had to enter this big Crystal Dome to collect as many “gold tokens”. The tokens were made of foil and were blown around from the fan below the dome — and the team had to catch these tokens and collect a minimum number of tokens in order to win. Here’s the video if you want to have a look on how it actually works:

Inspired by this game, I recreated the “Crystal Dome”. Well, I didn’t create the Dome itself, of course. But I liked the idea of blowing the tokens and catching them as many as I could. So, when my friends came over, we used to play this game. We cut out papers to make them as big as a paper money. Then one of us would take turn of climbing on top of my wardrobe (which was quite high). The person who was on the top had to “blow” or throw these papers down. We also put a big fan so that they were blown. The rest of us had to collect them. The one who could collect the most was of course the winner! Hahahaha. Creative enough? 🙂

Riding a Bike

I used to ride my bike around the neighborhood where we used to live. I used to do that almost every afternoon after school. This was the time when I also played with other Arab neighbors. The thing I remember about them was that they always wanted to decide everything. They wanted to control everything. Other children had to follow their lead. It annoyed the hell out of me haha. Anyway, I stopped riding my bike right after a religious police screamed at me for not wearing an abaya. I think I was around 13-15 years old. Riding a bike with an abaya on is too troublesome. So I decided not to play outside the house anymore.

Cooking

I had a cooking/kitchen set (as shown in the picture above) and I also loved playing with it. I wonder why cooking is not my favorite activities these days :P. Well, eating is!

Swimming

Every weekend, my family and I used to go to Obhur (which is part of the Red Sea) to swim. Some of my childhood friends joined us too. We would stay there until the afternoon and had lunch together afterwards. When I got a little older, my dad became so busy that we didn’t have time to do it every weekend. So we would do it every year instead. We would rent a cottage for a night and stayed there. When I was in Junior High School, I used to also go to a women-only sport club nearby to swim with some friends. I did that every weekend and I loved it! I remember swimming was the only sport I enjoyed doing. Ever since I put on hijab, I became too lazy to swim despite the fact that I had a swimming pool in my apartment in Brisbane.

Correspondence

By the time I reached the age of 13, I no longer played the same game I used to play when I was much younger. So I tried to find something else to make myself entertained. I began doing a correspondence. The idea came from one of teen magazines (I think it was Anita magazine). I sent my profile to them and they published it on the correspondence section. I began receiving letters from people in Indonesia.

After some time, one of the penpals introduced me to a “worldwide” correspondence. The idea was that, she sent me a so-called penpal book. This small book was filled with names and addresses of people who had received it. The last person who got the book (who could fill it on the last page) had to return it back to the book’s owner. Those who filled the book were also allowed to send letters to some people in that book to make some friends. It was just a great idea :).

I had hundreds of penpals around the world by the time I was in Junior High School. It was really fun and it was really great to practice and improve my English. Every month I got at least 100 letters to be replied. I remember the person who worked at the post office looked always pissed off every time I went there. Because he knew I would cheat. I would put a 50 halalah (cents) stamp on each envelope, instead of a 100 halalah (or 1 Saudi Riyal). That’s one of the ways to reduce the expenses my dad had to endure for my correspondence activities. Sometimes I would ask some penpals to return my stamps, so that I could wash and reuse them again.

I stopped corresponding by the time I went to High School in Indonesia. I didn’t have much time to write anymore (as we had a 9am-to-10pm activity every day). I remember I still received some letters (delivered to my Saudi address) when I was in Australia!

Computer

My first exposure with a computer was when my dad first bought a PC with a DOS in it. I think it was around 1993. There were some games in it, but I didn’t remember playing them (or maybe I didn’t like them). I remember there was a Qur’an software which I used it to play some short Surahs. I memorized Surah Abasa from this software.

We got an Internet when I was in Junior High School (around 1997). I think I was one of the first few people in class who had an access to the Internet at that time. The first thing I did when I had an Internet access was to create a Yahoo! email (which I still use until today) and check out Leonardo DiCaprio’s and Mariah Carey’s websites!! LOL. I was a huge fan of them. I used to have their posters all over my room.

But Internet at that time was not too huge. I couldn’t do much with it anyway (slow dial-up connection, anyone?). All I could do was chatting or browsing. But it definitely didn’t take more than an hour. After few years of knowing the Internet, I had the opportunity to create my own personal website using Geocities. Creating a website has become my favorite thing ever since! I’ve been learning everything from scratch. From building it using Geocities’ web builder, Microsoft FrontPage editor, to manually writing HTML and CSS codes. From a static website to a dynamic one. Everything was self-taught!

Video Games

I didn’t have video games during my childhood. My parents never allowed my sister and I to have one (but somehow this rule was relaxed with my brother…). The only way I could play video games was in my friend Anne’s house. I used to play Nintendo’s Mario Bros and Sega’s Sonic. That only happened few times a month. Hehehe.

Oh the good old days!!! 🙂

Umm Ali

IMG_4258

This is a famous Egyptian bread pudding called Umm Ali (meaning: the mother of Ali). According to this website:

Umm Ali (the dish) dates back to Ottoman era Egypt, when legend has it the sultan stopped in a poor village looking for something to eat and the village’s best cook, named Umm Ali, made something akin to this dish. There are other legends too, about a British nurse named O’Malley who may have invented the recipe.

Whatever the history was, what matters the most is that this desert is SOOOOO delicious! It is usually served during Ramadhan.

I remember when I was in Jeddah last year, I was craving for Umm Ali. So we tried to find it and ask people about it. But somehow we couldn’t locate which restaurant served this delicious dish. So my dad took us to a 4-star hotel. Having worked in a tourism business for more than 10 years, he knew most of the people in that hotel really well. From the manager to the security guy. So he asked the chef to make Umm Ali especially for us! Hahahaha. It was the best Umm Ali I’ve ever had!!! EVER. It wasn’t too sweet. The taste was just right on the spot! And it was for free! What more could I ask for?!

My brother (who also came with us to eat Umm Ali) said: “Malu-maluin aja. Dateng kesini cuma mau makan Umm Ali. Gratis pula!” Basically he said that we should be ashamed of ourselves for coming to the hotel only for the sake of Umm Ali! When we finished eating, he popped up the question “That’s it?! We’re leaving now?” Hahaha. Yep. We left and I didn’t feel ashamed at all LOL.

Now I’m craving for this desert all over again. Somehow, the craving and the homesickness always show up prior to/during Ramadhan. Spending Ramadhan in Saudi Arabia is just the best.

I’m going to try making Umm Ali next time! 🙂 (read: when I’m in the mood of cooking). I’ve got the recipe already. Yay.

When You Greet… in Arabic

The Arabs have a weird way of greeting their friends. They would ask the following questions:

  • How are you?
  • How’s everything?
  • How’s your health?
  • How’s your family?
  • How’s your son/daughter?
  • and the list is expanding… (but usually those first four questions are asked)

And what’s the answer to all those questions?

Alhamdulillah. All praise is due to Allah SWT.

In Saudi Arabia, when you greet a person, you’d kiss him/her on the cheek. So if you ask him/her four questions above, then you’d kiss him/her for four times. So it all depends on the number of questions that you ask. And all of them must be answered with alhamdulillah.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, I suggest you watch this funny and short video made by MTV Arabia about Saudi kiss:

 

My brother and I used to make fun of the way Arabs greet. It’s funny, when you think about it. I mean, you ask so many questions and no matter what you ask, the answer will always be alhamdulillah! It’s soooo “basa-basi”.

Anyway, it turns out that this way of greeting has existed for so long — it was once the habit of salafus shalih (the ‘pious predecessors’ from the first three generations of Muslims) which has been passed down until now! The reason why they did it was so that they can say the word alhamdulillah for so many times. In other words, they deliberately did it so that we can praise Allah SWT more often — i.e. so that we can be grateful to Allah SWT more often.

Subhanallah, I didn’t know that!!! I’m such a loser for thinking about it in another way. Oh God, please forgive me.

* Taken from a book titled “Kaya & Bahagia dengan Syukur” by Ahmad Hadi Yasin.

Annoying Memories

I was reading my old post about my experience working in Saudi Arabia and suddenly I remember the conversations that I had with my Saudi clients:

Client: Where are you from?
Me: Indonesia
Client: Really?! I thought you’re a Filipino!
Me: No, Sir. I’m 100% Indonesian.
Client: Wow! How come your English is so good? Where did you learn that from?

(I was asked with this question for so many times. They just couldn’t believe that I was an Indonesian. Damn I was offended!)

Client (on the phone, talking to his boss in Arabic): Yes, I am standing with a young woman now… Filipino, Malaysian, or whatever…  She is handling everything.

Me: zzzzzzzz….

(He really thought I couldn’t understand Arabic! And what’s with the assumptions?!)

Client: Wow, you’re definitely the first Indonesian woman that I encounter working in an office.

Me: (smiling, but wanting to give him a slap to the reality, seriously)

Client: You have done a really great job! I’m satisfied with your work and all your help. We should have a coffee or tea later.

(I knew his intention and this was something that could not be done in Saudi Arabia! I could be arrested by the religious police and accused of khalwa!)

Me: Sorry, sir. I’ve got no time for that.

Client: Are you married?

Me: (extremely annoyed) Sir, I believe in professionalism. Can we put all the private questions to a side, please?!

(I felt like saying: it’s NONE of your business! Hehehe)

The "Tent"

Nabawi Mosque

The last time I went to Madinah, the huge "tents" were still under construction. They are now can be seen during the day, covering most of the outer space of the Mosque. They are massive!

As I looked through the view of the Mosque from the hotel, I realized that it would take years for me to be able to see this beautiful view again. And this might be the last time I would be here. Yes, I thought about ending my Saudi residence permit. It would be impossible for me to go back every year if I worked. Oh well, we would see what would happen next year.

Madinah Al-Munawwarah

Nabawi Mosque

I’ve just arrived here, in the city of Prophet Muhammad SAW, late at night. Dad has to do some assignments here so my mum, sis, and I tagged along :). I’ll be going to the Mosque tomorrow morning.

I got my residence permit today, alhamdulillah. I was so HAPPY. I’m going to leave for the Netherlands on Tuesday and arrive on Wednesday, insya Allah.

The Second Chance

A different angle of Ka’bah. I’m grateful to have the second chance this month to perform Umrah again 🙂