Project 365

Forgiving someone who has wronged you won’t make yesterday’s pain disappear, but it will allow tomorrow’s happiness to grow.

— Yasir Qadhi

I got this quote from a friend and it kind of struck me. It made me question myself: why did I forgive you in the first place?

Was it because I wanted to let go of the past? Or was it because I didn’t want to give a damn about you anymore? Or was it because I wanted to throw away all the burdens I had?

The answers were: yes, to all of the above questions.

But then, the question continued: why should I forgive you when I didn’t even want to deal with you anymore?

Forgiveness was one thing. To keep in touch was another thing. I thought.

But did it make my forgiveness genuine?

Well, let’s refer to the dictionary to know what ‘forgive’ really means. To stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

The truth was, I was no longer angry at you. If I was, I wouldn’t be care enough to reply your messages. Or to ask how you were doing.

That day when you asked me if I would forgive you, I said yes. Yes. With no questions asked. No uncertainties inquired. And no conditions told.

Perhaps, this was the quickest way to officially close the book. I may or may not open the book again and continue with a new chapter. But for now, I’d prefer it to be closed and be stored in a dusty place. Just like I always did for the other books.

I had never felt so relieved until that day! 🙂

Goodbye, you.

If anyone killed a person not in retaliation of murder, or (and) to spread mischief in the land – it would be as if he killed all mankind, and if anyone saved a life, it would be as if he saved the life of all mankind

Barangsiapa yang membunuh seorang manusia, bukan karena orang itu (membunuh) orang lain, atau bukan karena membuat kerusakan dimuka bumi, maka seakan-akan dia telah membunuh manusia seluruhnya. Dan barangsiapa yang memelihara kehidupan seorang manusia, maka seolah-olah dia telah memelihara kehidupan manusia semuanya.

Al-Qur’an 5:32

I wonder why nothing is mentioned about this verse in any of those articles, books, movies, and news which argue that our beloved Qur’an is the source of a violence.

And I wonder if any of those terrorists ever read this part of the verse.

They are all ignorant uneducated selfish people!

Towards the 5th day of Eid, heavy meals were not served anymore. Instead, desserts and some Eid cookies were served. So after doing house-hopping, we were left with an empty stomach. My siblings wanted to eat at Chili’s, so we ended up going there. I wasn’t a big fan of Western foods and one of my purposes of going to Jeddah was to eat Middle Eastern foods! But, oh well, I had to follow the majority vote.

Being with a family is luxury. That’s all I can say 🙂

Today was my family’s turn for an open house! There were plenty of foods! 40+ guests came to our house. It was a busy day for all of us :).

The last guest went back at around 11.30pm. And we had to do cleaning up until around 1am! Phew! What a day!

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that counts. It’s the life in your years.

— Abraham Lincoln

What does it mean to be a 25 years old? I kept asking that question to myself but I can’t seem to find a clear answer. For me, 18 was the time when I acquired freedom. 23 was the time when I transformed from being a teenage girl to a woman. But 25? What does it exactly tell me?

I still have no idea. What I know is that I’m getting older. Years ago I thought I would be married by the time I reached 25, but look at me now… still flying freely like there is no tomorrow.

I’ve been through a lot these past few years. I’ve been fulfilled. I’ve been contented. I’ve been betrayed and lied to. I’ve hurt some people. I’ve lost some friends. I’ve gained some more. I’ve traveled the world.

But there is one unfinished business that I’ve been trying to ignore for so many times: to graduate. To finish my Master’s thesis. Motivation hasn’t been a friend, but I’ve been trying to get it back. I HAVE TO GRADUATE BY NEXT SEMESTER! Let’s do this!!! Ganbatte!

It’s time to let go those people who are not worth-keeping and to keep those who are worth-fighting for! 🙂

Alhamdulillah, I arrived in Jeddah at around 4am. The flight from Amman, Jordan, took around 2 hours and it was quite tiring. There were only 2 passengers (including me)! Hahaha. The whole plane was for us. The other passenger was a Saudi girl, who studied in London for many years. She seemed really nice and didn’t dressed up like most Saudis: simple and almost no make-up (whilst Saudis put too much make-up on daily basis). She had been studying in the UK since 4 years ago. Her family must had been so open-minded and modern, I thought.

When I reached the passport control, there weren’t any queues. So I didn’t have to wait for so long; I only had to wait for my luggage. I was so happy that by the time I reached a luggage carousel, it was 4.30am. But unfortunately, I had to wait for 30 minutes for my luggage to arrive. It seemed like our bags were abandoned, as there were only 2 bags in total. I got out of the airport just after the call for Fajr prayer.

I reached home, took a quick shower, and went to the mosque straight away. I saw many Indonesians (as it’s located near our consulate) and Saudis with their super duper thick make-up. Everyone was so shining. So happy. So delighted. And I felt so blessed to be around with my family for this year’s Eid.

In the afternoon, my family and I went to the residence of the consul general. His house is always used for many Indonesian events. During Eid, the house is opened to the public where many foods will be served. It was my first time to go there during Eid so I was pretty excited. There were plenty of delicious Indonesian foods! I was stuffed with foods and regretted that I ate too much, because we were planning to visit other people’s houses too! 😀

   

Well, thankfully my stomach managed to eat more foods. The next three or four days of Eid will be spent with visiting people’s houses, eating, eating, and eating. I will gain more weight for sure. But I don’t care (it’s not like I ever cared about my weight anyway!). I just wanted to enjoy it.

Hope you all have a great Eid celebration!

I have spent the last 6 years straight of Eid ul-Fitr without my family. And I don’t want to spend yet another Eid “alone” anymore! So today, insya Allah I’ll be flying to Saudi Arabia to join my mom, dad, sis, and bro for the Eid celebration!

I’ll arrive in Jeddah early Friday morning and I really hope I could perform Eid prayer over there! Or, worst case scenario I’ll be praying at the airport hahaha. Then hopefully I’ll meet some of my friends and former teachers at the residence of the consul-general of Indonesia. My family and I will also be visiting friends’ houses, so it’s going to be exciting! I can’t wait to eat the foods hahaha.

In the Netherlands, some people will celebrate the Eid on Friday. And some, including the Turkish people celebrate it today :).

So I want to wish you all, Eid Mubarak. I hope we have improved our faith and may Allah SWT accept our fasts and prayers, Ameen. Kullu 3am wa antum be7air! 🙂 Have a great celebration!

Today was my last day in Eindhoven before leaving for Jeddah. And it was my last ifthar at the Turkish mosque as the Turkish people were going to celebrate Eid the next day. So since some of my friends would go back to Indonesia and I wouldn’t be seeing them again until they would return next month, I proposed to have a small gathering at Usine, a cozy cafe in the centrum (city center), right after the ifthar.

I was quite happy that it turned out many of my friends who came to the mosque joined the gathering at the cafe! And out of nowhere, Jessie gave me a birthday card and a gift!!! I WAS SO SURPRISED! OMG! An early birthday surprise! I never expected anything! And I didn’t suspect anything was going to happen that day! I mean, come on, I was just expecting a simple gathering, everyone enjoying themselves catching up with others… But it turned out that there were some hidden agenda behind it! Hahahaha! Jessie covered it up so well and got everyone write something on the card itself! Good joooob!

And what did I get?? A Versace perfume with the body lotion!!! I smelled this perfume when I was at a perfume shop with Jessie and I immediately really loved it! And she bought this for meeee… oh how sweet of herrrr. I was so touched, moved, and overwhelmed today! Thank you everyone, especially Jessie and Agni who planned the whole thing! 🙂

   

So yeah, since everyone knew that my birthday was coming up soon, they expected me to pay for the drinks. LOL. Sorry guys, I wished I knew I’d have been prepared! Hahaha.

In addition to the surprise, I had a great time that evening! Had a good laugh and catch up. Thank you again for coming! I really appreciate it. See you next month! 🙂

She was the wife who believed in me when others rejected me. When people gave me the lie, she affirmed my truthfulness. When I stood forsaken, she spent her wealth to lighten the burden of my sorrow.

— Prophet Muhammad SAW