Project 365

I had been wanting to go to King Abdullah University of Science & Technology (KAUST) for so long and I was so happy that today I had a chance to go there with my whole family!

It was such a HUGE campus! The moment we stepped in, I was already amazed by its size and the fact that it had its own golf course! Super cool!

 

Then there was a cozy library with its beautiful view of the Red Sea! The tall structure seen below was actually a lighthouse!

Everything was so new, clean, shiny, and cozy!

Without the help of these Indonesian students who studied at KAUST, we wouldn’t be able to visit this campus! Thanks to them, I got to discover a lot of cool things about KAUST. I’ll write more about it in my primary blog! Stay tuned! 🙂

At least, there’s something to be grateful about with my flight being delayed! Hehehe.

Ya Allah, let me leave this country, please? I can’t stay another week here. I have so many things to do. I miss my carefree life back in Eindhoven. I miss my friends. And most importantly, I AM BORED HERE!

Departure date was changed to Sunday. I really hope that the permit will be out by then! Amen.

in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia

Life is somehow full of irony. Full of surprises. Let us go back in time 14 years ago. It is now 1996, Junior High School.

I sit in the back seat of the class, not too excited to hear the lesson given by my teacher. I can barely hear what she is trying to say, anyway! The class is too crowded. Everyone is busy with their own thing. Chatting. Drawing. Making jokes. The teacher does not seem to care. She is giving a lesson to the three pupils in front of her. And she probably thinks that we does not exist.

The class is getting more like a fish market rather than a place to get someone educated. The boys are getting so bored that they keep on teasing us and making us annoyed. I have been in the same class with them for years and I know how naughty they are! They love to mess around with us and the teachers! Being punished in front of the class becomes their daily food. And they do not have a slight regret about it!

… and let us go forward to the future. It is now 2010. Andalus Mall, Jeddah.

Here they are! We are all reunited once again. I have not seen them since God knows when. We talk about relationship, love, life, work, and many random issues. Damn, it has been so long. They all have changed! They have surely grown up. I can no longer see a naughty boy who likes to get into troubles, but I can only see a man. A good man with a good heart and responsibilities await :).

I am curious of what kind of future we are all going to end up in. What will we become in 10 years?

* Such a great day with some friends! Thanks all 🙂

Until you’ve found pain, you won’t reach the cure
Until you’ve given up life, you won’t unite with the supreme soul

— Jalal ad-Din Rumi

True. When we are happy, sometimes we forget to be thankful to The Creator. When we suffer, that’s when we try to search for Him.

May Allah SWT always protects us and makes us one of those people who always remember Him. Amin.

• My little brother “officially” became my driver today! He drove my mom and I to a mall nearby. I sat on the back seat and refused to look at the road as I freaked out so easily and it might mess up his concentration! 😛 He hasn’t got a driver license yet, but in Saudi Arabia, kids as young as 15 get behind the wheel. As long as my brother is accompanied by adults and he obeys the traffic rules, the police won’t catch him 😀
• My Saudi residence permit is still in the process and I have lost my patience! I am supposed to go back this Thursday but it seems like I have to extend my stay here. I can’t do anything. I am trapped! I was thinking of ending my permit all together, but my dad said it’s too late already. All I can do now is to wait 🙁
• I have terminated my house contract in Eindhoven and I’m moving out by the end of October! Not too excited about it but I’m so grateful that I found a cheaper place to stay! 🙂 The new house is located near AH XL (the big supermarket) although yes, it’s 15 minutes by bike to my campus. I am okay with it. The only thing I’m worried about is cycling during winter! It’s going to be a big challenge! Oh, well… nothing I can do about it!
• My friends told me that Eindhoven is getting colder and colder. It reached as low as 6 degrees Celsius at night! Brrr… I gotta be ready! Oh I can’t wait to go back! I miss my bike. I miss everything there! :-S

I have constantly asked people — those who had lived in many countries for most of their lives, how did you define the word home? What was home to you?

And today, I asked the same question to my followers on Twitter.

I, myself, have been struggling to define this word and to pick a place suitable to be called a home.

I lived in Jeddah for 10+ year. This was the place I knew since I was a little kid. I no longer live there but I pay a visit every single year and my parents still live in this city. However, I feel like a total stranger and second citizen whenever I’m in Jeddah. I regarded Jeddah as my home before, but the unwelcoming attitude that I always felt over there made me want to totally retract my thought. Jeddah was definitely not my home. If it was, I would not feel insecure about myself. I would feel connected. But in reality, I am not! 🙁

Jakarta is the city where my identity comes from. I only lived there for 3 years, but every now and then I try to go back to visit my extended family. Someday, I’ll eventually go back for good. To me, Jakarta is not a home. I do feel connected as my root lies there, but I can’t say I love living in Jakarta. It’s not a place to enjoy life. I find myself constantly complaining when I’m there!

Eindhoven — I’ve only lived there for 2 years. I love it. The people are nice. The experience I had was very exciting. I feel so belong. But somehow, there’s something missing about it. Something that makes me refuse to call it a home. I am not sure what.

So, where’s my home exactly?

A friend told me that she defined home as a place where her parents currently lived.

Mbak Nel thought that a home was a place where our heart was located 🙂 . But I asked myself, where did I leave my heart, again?

Then Mulia said that she didn’t have a place to call home, either! And she didn’t want to push herself to define it! Someday, in some random place, the feeling of being at home will eventually arrive. You don’t have to search for it. It’s not something that we can define. It’s something that we feel.

Ah, can’t agree more! 🙂 I may not have a home now, but I’m sure the time will come when I can finally call one place a home! 🙂

My friends asked me one day, why I was only interested in foreign news — Dutch, Saudi, Middle East, etc. Anything but Indonesian news.

You want to know why?

Well. I found Indonesian news to be too much. And it only centers on one similar topic! Corruption. The coward president. Violence. It keeps on going on and on like that. It usually starts small. Slowly. Then it gets really heavy, over the top… Just too much. My head just can’t handle it. I need something different, for God sake!

I admit that at one time, I kept myself out of Indonesian news for one year. I just refused to know anything about it. Except the good ones, of course. Those things that informed about the improvement that we made. Or about our prospect. Or about our achievements. I felt much better to read those things.

And seriously, if I keep on reading the "bad" Indonesian news, my urge to go back for good will eventually disappear! I won’t let that happens.

I am constantly
surprised by the longing for
you that never quiets.

— Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson

Especially right after that message I mistakenly sent. And the stupid argument we had as a result of it. Damn, I miss you.

I used to think, wow! I was the luckiest girl in the whole wide world!

I had a great childhood. I was the happiest girl around. Freedom was my zone. The world was my playground. I was surrounded with the most beloved ones.

Then, one day, BAAAAM! The wall shattered.

That only wall which had been protecting me since the very day I knew the world existed. The high wall that I relied on. It became nothing but pieces of broken stones.

Day by day, I tried to collect them. Crawling, I struggled to find them. The precious ones that were no longer valuable.

What was the purpose? I asked. The damage was too great. One day, those stones would crush into gravels. Then into sands. Someday. In the future. Without a warning.

Everything would be okay, I was whispered. As Rumi said, "anything you lose comes round in another form". Would it come in another form? I refused to know. But it kept me wondering…

Had I been too naive? Was I too far from reality? Why wouldn’t anyone knock the door first? Why wasn’t I woken up?

Suddenly I was here, in the middle of the road. Why did destiny bring me here?

The road was too rough. It was too narrow. The car had stopped. I was left in a darkness where moon refused to shine. The fear was uncontrollable.

Time was ticking. I had to keep going. Perhaps, this was the time that I had to face those bumpy roads. This was the time I would take over the wheel.

I might had lost the wall. I might had been stranded on the road. Destiny might had been unfair to me. But was that it? Was it what life all about?

No. Of course not.

Life was not only about avoiding the bumpy roads. It was not only about passing through those roads and fighting the fear. It was not only about reaching the destination. It was about focusing on the good ones and keeping the bad ones out. It was about accepting the destiny.

Destiny was non-negotiable. It could not be changed. It was there to give me a lesson. It was there to give life a whole new meaning. Would I eventually accept the destiny that had been determined for me? Only time would tell.