by Amalia

Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best… [and] is not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It’s a shield… that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight.

Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval and acceptance. Most perfectionists were raised being praised for achievement and performance… Perfectionism is more about perception — we want to be perceived as perfect. This is unattainable — there is no way to control perception, regardless of how much time and energy we spend trying.

Perfectionism is addictive because when we invariably do experience shame, judgment, and blame, we often believe it’s because we weren’t perfect enough.

— Brené Brown in The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

I don’t think I’m a perfectionist although sometimes I do want some things to be perfect. Or maybe… I didn’t realize that I had been a perfectionist for so long?!