Project 365

CARTUSSSS!!!

Yep, that is a greeting that only me and my Japanese friend understand. We lived in the same dorm during our first year in Brisbane. We had a weird friendship, I have to say. We barely talked (in depth) and I have little memories of us except this unique greeting.

One conversation we had that I fondly remember was about my headscarf. He asked me why I wore it and I answered it as short as I could as I wasn’t so sure if he’d be interested in the longer version of the story. And then he asked me: "When will I be able to see YOUR hair then?!" I jokingly answered, "when you marry me!" And that became his frequent question directed towards me 😛

One day, he asked me the word ‘paper’ in Indonesian. And I told him, it’s ‘kertas’. Since that very day, every time we bumped into each other, he’d mention that word. It became our greeting and we highly took pride of it. Everyone around us would probably be wondering, what in the world are these two strange people are talking about?!

Years passed by and we barely bumped into each other anymore. Now that we’re so further apart, we’re only connected through Facebook. When the earthquake and tsunami occurred in Japan, I wrote to all of my friends residing in Japan and my Japanese friends living outside of Japan, asking them if they or their families and friends are affected in any way. I wrote to all of them, including him.

I was so glad to hear that he and his family are fine. But one thing that touched me was when he wrote CARTUSSSS (he didn’t know how to spell the word, hence cartusss). I felt nothing but touched when I read his message. Wow! He still remembers that!!! 🙂 I believe it was at least 4 years ago since I last saw him!

One thing I feel so grateful about when it comes to these events: Queensland floods, Egyptian revolution, and Japan earthquake/tsunami is that: my friends and I are reconnected again. It doesn’t matter if we were only a hi-bye friend, bumped into each other for only few times, had little memories to remember, or never wrote to each other before. The thing that matters to me the most is that we are able to connect again and knowing that they are fine. Even if it’s only in the form of very short messages. Sometimes it helps just to show that this insignificant friend of them still remembers them. I hope they would realize that the world still cares for them and they’re all in our thoughts and prayers 🙂

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

— Kahlil Gibran

This is the poem I usually write to my newlywed friends. I love it!! I hope this poem would serve as a reminder, that even though you are bonded and united in marriage, it is important for both of you to maintain the spaces in your togetherness; i.e. to be able to maintain your identity and individuality. You cannot expect your wife or husband to be exactly like you are or to be like what you want her or him to be. That’s a space which needs to be maintained so that one’s individuality can grow and flourish. Once that part is realized, I’m sure both of you would grow stronger as a couple.

I think, for me, this poem is not only about marriage. It can be applied in a relationship too. I do have some friends that once they’re in a relationship, they turn into a totally different person that I cannot even recognize. But once their boyfriend/girlfriend is not around, they become someone I previously come to know. I find it quite sad. They’re willing to change themselves for the sake of the relationship and I’m sure that’s not what they want themselves to be. They might not realize it now, but they will, eventually! How long can you pretend to be the other person, really?

What I found is that, many Indonesians (or perhaps Asians) act like that towards their boyfriend/girlfriend. Maybe I’m generalizing too much, but hey, that’s what I discover most of the time. It’s as if one of them own the life of the other and control every single thing about him/her. And they’re not even married yet!

I’m lucky enough to have this rule strictly put in place from day one when it comes to boys and relationship. Basically, nobody has the right to dictate and control me and to force me to act/agree on/have something. Sure, you can always remind me if I do something wrong, but please provide me with strong arguments. Who are you to control me?! You’re not even my husband! 😀 If you can’t even do that, then you won’t be able to respect whatever opinions and qualities I have. You don’t like me for who I am! So, sorry boys. Au revoir!

This was me and Wiza in Kinderdijk. Look at our facial expressions! Hahaha! Hillarious! We were supposed to be jumping, but as usual, we failed LOL!

The photo was taken last week.

Amalia darling, I haven’t read your email yet, but I wanted to first let you know that I’m fine. I’m at home now watching the heartbreaking news on tv. The earthquake we felt here was about 5 on the Richter scale. At the time of the earthquake, I was on the 9th floor; therefore, the shaking was amplified. Fortunately, we evacuated the bldg & no one was hurt. I hope those who are closer to the center of the earthquake find food & shelter soon. Thanks for checking up on me, hon!

— Jenny

I’m so glad she is safe! I was thinking about her last night out of the sudden (see my previous post). I felt a bit worried for unclear reasons. I’m not sure if it’s a coincidence, but I take it as a sign that something bad was going to happen. Which it did. I watched the live pictures of the tsunami in horror! But I’m so grateful that she is safe and sound.

I also got in touch with another ex-housemate Mayu, who is in Brisbane. Thankfully, her family is also fine :). I still remember how kind her mom was to me and Jenny. She’s so understanding, very considerate, and tolerant towards me, a Muslim. I can’t wait to see her again at the wedding! And I call her Mama too 🙂

I also call Jenny’s mom Mama. I have three moms spreading around the world, huh? Hehehehe! She was the one who taught me how to cook at the time when I didn’t even know how to cut veggies properly hahahha! (THAT’s how bad I was at cooking. But hey, I’m much better now! I’m sure she’ll be proud of me hehehehe). If she still lives in Penang, I’m going to pay her a visit this October 🙂

I won’t be able to see my "real" mom this year, but at least… I’ll be able to see at least one of my mums 🙂

I’m not a big fan of tea, to be honest. Hot chocolate and mango juice are my top favorites. Coffee (preferably cappuccino) is the next favorite (but trying so hard NOT to drink this frequently). Tea and soda drinks are, however, at the bottom of my list.

But ever since I got sick, I’ve avoided hot chocolate and coffee altogether. Somehow I feel they’re not good for my throat. But I need to drink something warm (too lazy to make a lemonade + honey mixture). So I opt for a tea!!!! 😀

It feels weird. I never bought a box of tea before. A change of lifestyle, I guess? 😛 Every time I drink tea, I remember about my ex-housemate and good friend, Jenny. She used to sit in our living room after dinner, watching TV and drinking a cup of green tea.

Ohhhh damn! I haven’t written to her for AGES! Maybe I should! 😐

I think I need to read this book. Reading the reviews of this book made me more interested:

• "As an adult TCK, I have long wrestled with how I fit into this world. This book is the ‘bible’ for anyone who wants to understand the blessings and the curses of growing up multiculturally" — Wm Paul Young
• "Because Third Culture Kids have been exposed to other cultures in significant ways and have experienced multiple transitions while growing up, it is in their DNA to thrive within the pace and nature of globalization. This book is a must to understand the challenges TCKs face and the unique skills they can leverage as global leaders." — Katrina Burrus

A friend gave me this chocolate 🙂 It made my day!!! Merci beaucoup 🙂

Love has pierced with its arrow
The heart of every lover.
Blood flows but the wound is invisible.

— Jalal ad-Din Rumi

If the other person injures you, you may forget the injury; but if you injure him you will always remember

— Kahlil Gibran

So true.

Two days ago, Angga and I were told to come to Bu Asri’s place to pick up something. When we arrived (during dinner time haha), we were asked to join the birthday dinner! It was totally unexpected! There were a lot of foods! Most importantly, there were IKAN ASIN and SAYUR ASEM!!! waaaaaa… Those were my favorite food that my mum always made!!!! I was so happy to find them!!! hehehehe…. Alhamdulillah :). Happy birthday, Ibuuu Asri 🙂