Project 365

My parents raised me to be independent from the very early age. Back in those days when we’re still financially unstable, my sister and I had stay at home — just the two of us — while our parents worked hard to earn extra money during Hajj.  Being the eldest child, I was already trusted to take care of my sister and myself. I was still in the elementary school at that time, but we managed to live like this for a month every single year.

I then became totally independent when I came to Indonesia to study. For the next 10 years after that, I had been living independently without my family. I was too comfortable to be apart from my family that it felt weird to stay under one roof with them for more than a month. I had to re-adapt.

I love living my life without having to worry about others 24 hours a day. I don’t need to take care of anyone or be worried about anyone. The only one that needs to be taken care of is only me. It doesn’t mean that I prefer to live alone. I hate living alone. But there’s a big difference between living with your friends and living with your family. Yes, there’s a big difference.

This is something that I still need to get used to. Living with my sister is such a big challenge for me. She is the most needy person I’ve ever encountered. She doesn’t like to be alone at all. Even if it means going to the market next door, she wants to be accompanied. I don’t want to make it a big deal, because that’s what I come here for. I’m just not used to it and that’s a real challenge for me.

But then I thought to myself. Imagine if I have a child. Like any children in the world, this child constantly needs the care, support, and attention every single day. If I can’t even stand having my sister by my side, what would happen next if I have a child?!? Would I be able to stand with my baby?

I really need to sort out this issue!