I should have not done it in the first place. I knew it would not lead us to anywhere. I knew it should be stopped. But I chose to be ignorant. We chose to be ignorant. Reality was one thing we could not reach. Not even touch.
The next thing I knew, we were strangers. And I was the one who felt miserable. Could there be any other way to end this?
You are the reason why even at the saddest part of my life, I smile. Even at confusion, I understand. Even in betrayal, I trust. Even in fear of pain, I love.
— Anonymous
When sadness was the sea, you were the one that taught me to swim.
Have a decent rest, hey you. I hope you will be greeted with good news tomorrow. My prayers go to your granddad tonight. And I wish him well soon.
Sweet dreams. Sleep tight. And good night.
Talk to you tomorrow, my friend.
Everyday I check my mobile phone hoping that I get a missed call or a text message from you.
Every time you send me an instant message and ask me how I’m doing, I wonder if you miss me.
Sometimes I wonder if I was ever on your mind today. Or yesterday. Or the day before yesterday. Would you let me know if you did?
Then I thought, why would I hope for such a thing? Why would I wonder about something that will not lead me to any concrete point?
Perhaps, I am just curious. I want to feel secured. I want to feel like I am not the only person in the world hoping and wondering for such things. Knowing the answer to these bits would make me smile.
Eventually.
A friend asked me over YM: “How did you know this guy – the time when you were not using your brain?”
Yes, it’s so harsh, I know. I was even offended when he said it. But he’s always been like that. He say things honestly without thinking about what the other person will feel like. Yes, he’s too mean. We fought many times because of it. But I always turned to him for opinions.
When I said to him about how nice the guy was, he just went on to tell me: “I just don’t listen easily to a judgement made under the condition where a brain is absent.” OUCH! It directly stabbed my heart!
But, for whatever reasons, I appreciate that he said those mean words to me. Perhaps, I need someone to remind me that what I did was absolutely wrong. I shouldn’t be doing it in the first place. I needed someone to slap my face. And he successfully did that to me. Thanks a bunch, Kram for the reminder 🙂
This is his favorite song from Alicia Keys’ newest album. It’s one of my favorites too. Every time I hear the song, it reminds me of him. I never actually paid attention to the lyrics. But then I realize that this song is about a guy and a girl who are not in a committed relationship, but somehow one of them are starting to have the feeling that’s impossible to ignore.
This storyline is somewhat familiar.
I spent almost the whole day with him today. I’m happy. He’s happy. We’re happy.
And that would be the last time we spend time together as “friends”. We’ve made the decision. And I think that’s the best thing that we can do. Can we do that? Will we stay to our words when the next time we meet?
…
But I do feel a little bit sad knowing that I won’t receive his call or sms everyday. I won’t hear the sweet words he used to utter to me. And I won’t probably see him as often as I do now. I’ll definitely be missing those.
But I guess, if we don’t take any actions now we’ll suffer more later. And I don’t want that to happen. None of us want that.
Thank you for the memories, sayang. Thank you for treating me the way I wanted to be treated. Thank you for making me feel important. Let’s seek for the better future, shall we?
Every time I look into your eyes I know how much you care about me. And how much you want me to be happy. And every time I am with you I can feel the warmth that I’ve been longing to have.
We are destined to be apart. But I want you to stay and just be my friend. Nothing else.
Thank you for being the best company ever. I enjoyed it every moment with you. And I can’t ask for more.