Project 365

Everyday I check my mobile phone hoping that I get a missed call or a text message from you.

Every time you send me an instant message and ask me how I’m doing, I wonder if you miss me.

Sometimes I wonder if I was ever on your mind today. Or yesterday. Or the day before yesterday. Would you let me know if you did?

Then I thought, why would I hope for such a thing? Why would I wonder about something that will not lead me to any concrete point?

Perhaps, I am just curious. I want to feel secured. I want to feel like I am not the only person in the world hoping and wondering for such things. Knowing the answer to these bits would make me smile.

Eventually.

Balinese dancer. I love this picture. So Indonesian. So vintage. So priceless.

Indonesian children 🙂

I’ve been having a healthier breakfast or brunch everyday since I was sick 2 weeks ago. I usually opt for fresh milk and cereal in the morning, but because I’m still coughing I try to avoid cold milk for now. So I’ve been drinking delicious Chocomel everyday. I’m also a big fan of any kind of cheese, butter, or margarine and I can’t miss it on my breakfast! To add a little bit of “energy”, I add tuna salad spread which is really delicious 😀 Not to forget a fruit, of course.

I miss banana milk, the white milk, and the cereal. I can’t wait til the day I’m totally free from cough 😉

But for now, I enjoy this kind of breakfast/brunch!

Jessie, Ari, and I were supposed to wake up at 8am today. We planned to go to Lisse, a town made famous for tulip fields and the biggest flower garden in the world: Keukenhof. But none of us seemed to hear the alarm and the next thing we knew, it was already 10.30 am! LOL!

Today wasn’t as beautiful as yesterday though. The sun was hiding and it was forecasted to be raining. It was a bit chilly too (good thing I brought my coat this time!). But we went to Lisse anyway. We rented a bike near the Keukenhof and cycled around the town to see the flower fields (especially the tulips!). It was beautiful! Such an amazing thing to see massive fields with different colors of flowers scattered for many kilometers! Although I did the same thing last year, it was still worth doing! 🙂

We went back to Utrecht at around 8pm to pick up my stuff at Jessie’s place and went straight to Eindhoven. Overall, I had a super great weekend with my girls 🙂 Really enjoyed the laugh and the talks we had! Next plan is: ice skating 😉

Had an awesome day today with my girls, Ari and Jessie in Kinderdijk, a village that was famous for the windmills. There were 19 windmills in total, which made this village one of the UNESCO World Heritage Sites. The day was PERFECT! The sun was shining so brightly and the sky was clear and blue. It was such a beautiful day. We walked along the path leading to these windmills, sat nearby a small river (or canal) and warm ourselves up under the sun, and had a great talk, as usual.

We went back to Jessie’s place in Utrecht at around 8 or 9pm, where Ari and I slept over there for a night. I was REALLY tired as I slept at 5am the night before. But I really enjoyed my day and I couldn’t be more happier and thankful 🙂

This video makes me smile everytime I see it. They have such a great idea of turning musical looking like spontaneous one at a big train station in Antwerp, Belgium. Enjoy! 🙂

And a sign for them (of Our power) is that We carried their ancestors in a laden ship (Prophet Nuh’s ship) and We created for them from the likes of it that which they ride. And if We should will, We could drown them; then no one responding to a cry would there be for them, nor would they be saved. Except as a mercy from Us and provision for a time.

Dan suatu tanda (kebesaran Allah yang besar) bagi mereka adalah bahwa Kami angkut nenek moyang mereka dalam bahtera (kapal) yang penuh muatan dan Kami ciptakan untuk mereka yang akan mereka kendarai seperti bahtera itu. Dan jika Kami menghendaki niscaya Kami tenggelamkan mereka, maka tiadalah bagi mereka penolong dan tidak pula mereka diselamatkan. Tetapi (Kami selamatkan mereka) karena rahmat yang besar dari Kami dan untuk memberikan kesenangan hidup sampai kepada suatu ketika. (Al-Qur’an 36:41-44)

During today’s Qur’an study, our discussion came to the heart of the Qur’an, surah Yaasin. I learned many things today (as usual) but one thing that came across was those particular verses. I was told that Prophet Nuh (or Noah) was like Prophet Adam “the second” (i.e. Nabi Adam kedua). We’re all the offspring of Prophet Nuh. As can be read from those verses above, the people of Nuh was saved with his ship and Allah SWT showed them mercy and saved them (although they all could be drown and died). The flood happened not just in the area where they lived, it happened in the whole world, subhanallah. Imagine if Allah SWT did not save them, would there be still us?

That’s why we need to be thankful for each and everything we achieved and received. Allah is The Most Merciful. So never hesitate to seek mercy from Allah SWT.

A friend asked me over YM: “How did you know this guy – the time when you were not using your brain?”

Yes, it’s so harsh, I know. I was even offended when he said it. But he’s always been like that. He say things honestly without thinking about what the other person will feel like. Yes, he’s too mean. We fought many times because of it. But I always turned to him for opinions.

When I said to him about how nice the guy was, he just went on to tell me: “I just don’t listen easily to a judgement made under the condition where a brain is absent.” OUCH! It directly stabbed my heart!

But, for whatever reasons, I appreciate that he said those mean words to me. Perhaps, I need someone to remind me that what I did was absolutely wrong. I shouldn’t be doing it in the first place. I needed someone to slap my face. And he successfully did that to me. Thanks a bunch, Kram for the reminder 🙂

This is his favorite song from Alicia Keys’ newest album. It’s one of my favorites too. Every time I hear the song, it reminds me of him. I never actually paid attention to the lyrics. But then I realize that this song is about a guy and a girl who are not in a committed relationship, but somehow one of them are starting to have the feeling that’s impossible to ignore.

This storyline is somewhat familiar.

I spent almost the whole day with him today. I’m happy. He’s happy. We’re happy.

And that would be the last time we spend time together as “friends”. We’ve made the decision. And I think that’s the best thing that we can do. Can we do that? Will we stay to our words when the next time we meet?

…

But I do feel a little bit sad knowing that I won’t receive his call or sms everyday. I won’t hear the sweet words he used to utter to me. And I won’t probably see him as often as I do now. I’ll definitely be missing those.

But I guess, if we don’t take any actions now we’ll suffer more later. And I don’t want that to happen. None of us want that.

Thank you for the memories, sayang. Thank you for treating me the way I wanted to be treated. Thank you for making me feel important. Let’s seek for the better future, shall we?