Project 365

Welcome! This is my own 365 project of creating at least one post per day about the stuff that I learnt, achieved, and found, the stuff that made me happy, or the new thing I did every single day.

The project was started on 21 February 2010. It has stopped for few times but I am determined to continue!

This project is dedicated to myself. I want to feel grateful for every single thing I have. I want to be thankful for my own life. I just want to feel that I have enough.

Category: Ramblings

The Change in Me

I’ve been thinking about myself lately. I feel like I’ve changed. I used to be not so picky about many things, including making friends. But now I’m much more careful. I used to love being alone. I used to dream about living alone. But now I loathe being by myself. I want to be around with people I care about. I want to be with my friends all the time. I used to be so carefree, but now I’m worried about many things. I used to dream about having a successful career and earning a lot of money. But now I want to be a successful mother and wife.

In a way, I don’t mind with these changes. As long as these changes are positives and do not harm others. I’m happy with it. It’s just amazing to see my own transformation in a matter of short time. This is just my reflection to end the day 🙂

:)

Nothing much happened today, except that I was still too tired. I didn’t sleep so well and I spent my time at uni for the whole day.

Yet, I encountered someone today. Didn’t expect that I would meet him and see his smile which always melted my heart! 😀 It made my day!

The Closed Door

Seems like this week is a hectic week for me! I didn’t realize it until today. I don’t know how I’m going to manage it, but I have two assignments that are due on Friday this week and on Monday next week. I also have to do the project that I unfortunately failed. Then I have to work for three days on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Sunday for the whole day. Not to forget that I have a weekly Qur’an session on Friday night and a dinner party that I’m going to host on Saturday night. This is going to be interesting!!!

Nevertheless, I feel so thankful for I don’t end up at home — alone — complaining how lonely I am with no one around. I have so many things to do and I will keep myself busy for the whole week. The good thing is that, a friend of mine, Maureen, is going to stay with me for a week. So at least I have some company 🙂 .

What makes me feel even more grateful is that, I got a text message from him today. Knowing that there’s someone out there who’s been thinking about you is enough to make me feel so precious. I’ve been blaming this heart for not being able to open its door widely. And I am still struggling with it. My feeling can’t lie. And I can’t do anything about it. But anyway I give up on trying. I’ll keep on living my life and see where this heart will bring me. And I’m sure there’ll be time when my heart is going to open the door without the need of someone knocking it. Amin.

Chatting

Jessie: When does ur summer vacation ends?
me: Usually on August. Why?
Jessie: Day trip Barca [Barcelona]? or on the weekend? =))
me: =)) I wannnttt!!! LOL
me: Okay we’ll talk about that later :))
Jessie: It’s been 10 years since the last time I was there. The urge to go there is back again
me: Hahhahaha. Yes I wanna go there!
Jessie: Cool hahahahaa. But we will discuss that on the way to Paris… wakakaka
Jessie: And next year touring around in Indonesia!! SINCE U NEVER BEEN TO BALI
me: =)) =)) =))
Jessie: *still kinda shocked since this bule already been there*
me: Hahhahahahah. Yes u beat me!!!
Jessie: Yeah, but you’ve been to many more places. So I don’t beat u on that one
me: Hahaha.. The next thing I wanna do in Indonesia is diving! I wanna take a course and diveeee. Wanna do that? ;;) Interested?
Jessie: YES. I am!
me: Let’s do it next year! Hahahha
Jessie: Wkakakakakaa. OK I need to make a serious saving account =))
Jessie: Amel. We need to get a good side job and work our ass off and start saving money =))
me: WE DO!!!!! LOL. Saving money for traveling hahaha
Jessie: Yeah, before we get married and get knocked up and become IBU RT [ibu rumah tangga / housewife]. We still need to see the world
me: =)) INDEEDD!!!!

This the chat with my travel friend, Jessie today. Oh gosh, I can never save money for the future!!! I’m always going to travel until I’m really settled! Hahaha.

It isn’t that bad to enjoy yourself before being somebody else’s wife, right? 😉

Whatever it is… I’m excited about next year! All the travel plans. Everything. Let’s see if I can really do it (since I’ll probably be jobless LOL).

Being Grateful

And We had certainly given Luqman wisdom [and said], “Be grateful to Allah .” And whoever is grateful is grateful for [the benefit of] himself. And whoever denies [His favor] – then indeed, Allah is Free of need and Praiseworthy.

Dan sesungguhnya telah Kami berikan hikmat kepada Luqman, yaitu: “Bersyukurlah kepada Allah. Dan barangsiapa yang bersyukur (kepada Allah), maka sesungguhnya ia bersyukur untuk dirinya sendiri; dan barangsiapa yang tidak bersyukur, maka sesungguhnya Allah Maha Kaya lagi Maha Terpuji”. (Al-Qur’an 31:12)

I came across this verse during our weekly Qur’an session. Allah SWT asks us to be grateful to Him. If we do, then we’re grateful for the benefit of ourselves. If we’re grateful, we’ll most like not hurt or take advantage of others. Take for example our politicians who are never satisfied with the money that they get. The result is definitely corruption. If they’re grateful, things would turn out differently.

And now, I have to keep on reminding myself that I need to be grateful for every single thing I have. Creating this Project 365 is my way to be thankful, so that I can look back at my life at some point in time and realize how lucky I am that I can ever reach this point that is beyond my expectation! Hope I can keep on doing this project, Amin.

Good News!

Alhamdulillah ya Allah. When there is a bad news, the good news follows! 🙂

Today I’ve been searching for a Couchsurfer who is able to host 5 people at once for a night in Paris (or nearby Paris), knowing that the hostels in Paris are quite expensive. I know, our trip will not be until next month, but I have to prepare everything from now.

Just before I was about to go to bed, I received a message from a really nice Couchsurfer who will open his door for 5 of us to sleep at!!! I can’t describe how happy I was! Searching for a couch/host in Paris is not easy. It took me 3 weeks to find a host when I went there last year, so I was really delighted to receive such a good news in such a short time! It seems like the host is very nice. He said that he could have a day off just to be with us and show us Paris around! OMG! That’s super wonderful! And the most important thing is: he has been to Indonesia! Yay! (perhaps that’s why he wants to host us!!!)

Oh I’m so grateful!

Day 5: Busy

Phew. There are too many things to be grateful about today. It was quite a busy and tiring day, yet at the same time it was such a fun and exciting day.

After about a month of procrastinating, finally my friend and I resumed our project that had been looooongggg abandoned. I went to the ICTheek in the morning and tried to understand the whole thing. It wasn’t so effective, but at least we saw some light. We saw progress. It was slow. Yet, we were a bit sure. At least, this could be my new motivation! 🙂

I went to the High Tech Campus to meet with some people to finalize my website project. I was sooo panic that time because I was 15 minutes late! I could have been on time had my Dutch class finished on time and I weren’t LOST! It was raining so heavily that for the second time I was lost. I took the wrong street. I cycled and cycled and cycled until I had no energy. I felt so bad 🙁

Long story short… I met them and discussed about some improvements and adjustments that I needed to make. We discussed about the salary too. Well, in the beginning I wasn’t expecting that much since this was a new NGO. So I was quite satisfied with it, alhamdulillah. I also told my boss that once I graduate (if!), I’d be able to work for him temporarily; so that at least I can do something while I seek for a permanent job. Well, let’s see what will happen later.

After the meeting, my boss and I also had a long conversation about his work and life, politics, etc. It was quite interesting. Meeting this kind of people who is the initiator and whose purpose is to improve other people’s life always inspires me. Hope I’d be able to do it one day. Insya Allah. Amin.

My day finished with a great dinner at Agni’s place with his sister and Arya. It was such a fun and warm night. We haven’t done any dinner gatherings for sometime now… Hmm, maybe we should plan one soon! (trying to gather my motivation here!)

I’m really looking forward for tomorrow. I’ll be going to meet a couchsurfer from Russia for a coffee. This would be the first meet up after I took a long half a year break from Couchsurfing. It’s going to be exciting! And he seems very excited! I’ll share the stories tomorrow, of course. Good night. Dream sweetly.

Forgiving

Antwone Fisher: “Why do I have to forgive?”
Jerome Davenport: “To free yourself, so you can get on with your life.”

Antwone Fisher movie

When someone makes a mistake that leaves scars in your heart, it is hard to see him beyond his mistakes. It is easy for you to forget what this person did to you before this happens. It’s easy to deny the fact that he is a normal human being that is capable of making faults. It’s easy to forget that he was the one who were there for you when you needed someone at 1 am. No matter how cold it was at night, he came for you and listened to your problems. He made sure that you were okay.

I wonder… how could I be so blind? How could I not realize it til now?

So… I’ve decided. I’m going to leave these pages empty and close this book. I’m going to get another one. I’m going to start everything from the beginning again. I’m going to forgive him. So that I can get on with my life.

My Second Family

Now I know why Eindhoven seems like home to me. Or why I really like living here. Or why it doesn’t seem to matter if I have to stay here for a long time.

Well, it’s all because of the Indonesian Muslim community that exists here. One family that I’m especially close with is the family of mas Umar. I consider them as my second family. And I’m blessed to be surrounded or be around them, because I see them as an ideal Muslim family which I’ve been dreaming to have once I get married 🙂

Today, I had a long chitchat with them about our small community. And I realized that the Indonesian Muslim community that existed here was very different compared to other Indonesian communities that I encountered in other countries. What made it to special? First of all, it’s a small community (around 10-20 active members) which made us close to each other. Second of all, it’s free of gossips which many Indonesians tend to do (including me, sometimes!). Third of all, these people were very down to earth!

Now, I want to stress the third point here.

Most Indonesians are very materialistic. They live in a world where status is the most important thing in this life. They complain about how little money they have, yet when it comes to new expensive gadgets, they are the first ones to get them. When I was in High School, I was surprised to see my friends kept changing their mobile phones to the newest available ones whilst it took me years to change mine. At that time I was jealous. I wished I could be like them. I wished I could just tell my parents that I wanted to buy one. I wished my parents would grant my wish. But when I came to Australia and saw how unmaterialistic the Aussies were, I was grateful that my parents didn’t grant my wish at that time!

Of course, people want to look good. I want to look good. I buy clothes. I am obsessed with accessories, especially necklaces and hijabs. I love shoes. And bags. But I’d never buy them when other more important needs can’t be fulfilled. It’s not a big deal to wait until I get back home to buy new clothes even though, yes, the ones that I have are already “bulukan” due to too much washing. It’s not a problem for me too to buy second hand clothes as they are much more cheaper! And the same thing goes for my gadgets. It’s perfectly okay to wait until 5 years or more (i.e. til they’re broken and unfixable!) to get the new ones. Calling and texting is all I need, anyway.

That’s just me. And I prefer everyone to just shut their mouth and mind their own business. What’s the problem if I don’t have 2 or 3 mobile phones? What’s the problem if I don’t have a blackberry? What’s the problem if I go around with public transports all the time? What seems to be the freakin problem?? People can’t seem to shut up. They think that… just because I live abroad they expect me to have more?? When I have more, all I think is that they’ll be jealous. What’s the point, really? And I’m also sick of those people who keep talking about being “keren”, trendy, and all that… Oh, come on. There are more things that we need to take care of and think about than just looking good!

I don’t want to be hipocrit. I can’t deny the fact that my own family -sadly- falls into the materialistic category. And I won’t deny that I too was materialistic. But after 6 years of living in the Western society, I have gradually changed. And I’ve been trying so hard to change my family too, though it hasn’t been so successful.

Okay, turns out that there a lot of bla bla blas in this post. But going back to the point I want to make previously is that, the Indonesian community here is very down to earth. Very simple, just like the Dutch people. They value their life and faith more than what they have. They don’t talk about those unimportant stuff and things. No matter how rich they are, they still live a simple life.

And that’s what I like about such a simple community. It makes me feel so homey and cozy. And it makes me even love this place more than my own home.

Something to be grateful about 🙂