It even hurts to see the person you love not knowing that her other half has been unfaithful to her.

It hurts even more to see the person you love and you’re not able to tell her that she has been so blind.

It hurts the most to see yourself watching the whole movie, sitting there unable to do anything.

It hurts to see yourself hurting slowly. Every time the heart bleeds, you stitch the wound. You don’t know how many more it can bear before it eventually breaks.

Then you ask a simple question, who are you protecting from? Him? Her? Or yourself?

But then, if everything was easy, it wouldn’t be called life, would it?

Uncover your mask, that’s all I ask from you. How hard could that be?! But you choose to wear it. You sacrifice the friendship we had with the mask you cannot lose. Has it been a good protector to you? I wonder.

Just remember that, you can make the world beautiful just by refusing to lie about it*.

Choice is in your hand, my friend. I am not here to interfere.

And don’t ever blame me when I make my own choice. Time is up. Another ship is coming to pick me up. I have to give up on you. Completely.

* Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You

I am constantly
surprised by the longing for
you that never quiets.

— Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson

Especially right after that message I mistakenly sent. And the stupid argument we had as a result of it. Damn, I miss you.

The sky was lit by the splendor of the moon
So powerful I fell to the ground 
Your love has made me sure 
I am ready to forsake this worldly life
and surrender to the magnificence of your Being

— Jalal ad-Din Rumi

So beautifully written. It makes me wonder, when will I find You? Yes, you, whose love made me sure to forsake this worldly life. And whose love made me surrender to the magnificence of your Being.

Whoever you are, don’t hide. Don’t walk away. Walk slowly so I can find your footpath. And eventually find You.

Forgiving someone who has wronged you won’t make yesterday’s pain disappear, but it will allow tomorrow’s happiness to grow.

— Yasir Qadhi

I got this quote from a friend and it kind of struck me. It made me question myself: why did I forgive you in the first place?

Was it because I wanted to let go of the past? Or was it because I didn’t want to give a damn about you anymore? Or was it because I wanted to throw away all the burdens I had?

The answers were: yes, to all of the above questions.

But then, the question continued: why should I forgive you when I didn’t even want to deal with you anymore?

Forgiveness was one thing. To keep in touch was another thing. I thought.

But did it make my forgiveness genuine?

Well, let’s refer to the dictionary to know what ‘forgive’ really means. To stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

The truth was, I was no longer angry at you. If I was, I wouldn’t be care enough to reply your messages. Or to ask how you were doing.

That day when you asked me if I would forgive you, I said yes. Yes. With no questions asked. No uncertainties inquired. And no conditions told.

Perhaps, this was the quickest way to officially close the book. I may or may not open the book again and continue with a new chapter. But for now, I’d prefer it to be closed and be stored in a dusty place. Just like I always did for the other books.

I had never felt so relieved until that day!

Goodbye, you.

It’s just… I feel better somehow not to see your updates

That’s all I could say to you when you asked me for the reason. And I didn’t see the necessity for you to know how I’m doing either :).

Be it like that. Let’s just go our own separate way.

And though the waves might bring you down and though the currents might pull you under, the sky is always still right above you. And your friends will show you the way.

— Iain Thomas @ I Wrote This For You

Yes, my friends will show me the way. They already did. I just can’t stop being thankful for their lovely presence :). For their ‘commitment’ on this friendship. For everything they have done to me. Though they always feel that they did nothing; trust me, it’s something significant to me.

And there’s him. Despite of our past, he’s somehow always there, appearing in front of my door every single time with his lovely smile, expecting nothing than a delightful moment together. We understood that it couldn’t go any further, for we sail to different directions. But we are in the same ship. And we’re going to cherish every memories of our friendship.

And that’s how a real grown-up is supposed to act. Don’t you agree?

* Got a lovely present and I’m happy! Thanks!

He is an a**h***. He is not worth it for you. And you deserve someone much better than him.

… and some disagreements and arguments, of course :D. Such a nice evening! Hihihi. A slap in the face is all I need now